FCK — The Day KFC Ran Out of Chicken

A Cautionary Tale of Deep Fryers, Delivery Fails, and PR Redemption

Hello again, Useless Knowledge® Nation. Pull up a greasy plastic chair. Today’s tale isn’t about war or politics or ancient curses. It’s about something far more catastrophic: a country without fried chicken.

It started like any other weekday in the UK. Grey skies. Endless apologies. The quiet hum of a nation that collectively agrees that brown sauce is a valid condiment. But then something happened, something no one had seen coming.

KFC. Ran. Out. Of. Chicken!

Not just a little. Not a “sorry we’re out of wings” moment. This was a full-blown culinary collapse. Over 600 KFCs across the United Kingdom were forced to close. Shuttered. Empty. The Colonel, it seemed, had gone AWOL.

The reason? A botched switch to a new delivery partner. DHL, because nothing says “hot fried poultry” like a logistics company best known for losing your package and pretending it never existed. Trucks were rerouted, orders went missing, and for a brief, glorious moment, the UK descended into an actual chickenless panic.

Police had to release a statement: “This is not a police matter if your favorite eatery is not serving the menu that you desire.” Imagine being the poor bastard in dispatch taking those calls.

But here’s the kicker—KFC didn’t hide. They leaned into the madness. They took out a full-page ad in the paper with their logo rearranged to read simply: FCK. Just a lonely bucket, empty as the hearts of those denied their lunchtime fix.

And you know what? It worked. People forgave them. Not because they had to. But because deep down, we all understand the gravity of being denied something crunchy, salty, and fried in 11 herbs and a stupid amount of MSG. KFC became a case study in how to screw up, own it, and live to fry another day.

So next time someone says the world is falling apart, tell them: yeah, maybe. But at least there’s chicken.

Well—usually.